Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Control

Will I ever be able to let go of my control?

I came home this morning to a birthday cake on my table. My mother-in-law had been over and dropped it off. I was so torn over being upset that she'd been over, in my house, without even calling, to feeling guilty that she'd brought over a cake for my b-day.

I called her back and thanked her for the gift. I had to. I'm from the south and we're polite like that. :) We're also passive-aggressive and wont address conflict up front, or at least the women in my family are like that.

Why cant I just let go of this control and accept and enjoy the interaction with my family? And then I wonder why I cant have my own home/stuff?

I truly feel that we need to move and buy a different home. This home was Sean's parent's home and well, it seems they still feel it is. I really dont think she'd just walk into my home if we lived some place else. And yes, I've asked her to call before she comes over, and no, the majority of the time she still doesnt.

I plan on graduating next year with my Master's and I then plan on buying a home. Sean and I've discussed it and we both agree. :) In the mean time, I need to learn how to let go of my need for control. And maybe thats it, maybe I should examine why I need the control.
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