Saturday, September 8, 2012

Postpartum Depression Can Kiss My Ass

If you look around my blog you'll notice a great deal of reviews with a few giveaways thrown in there. If you've followed my blog for while then you might realize the shift it's taken since I've had Jacob. 


I am suffering from postpartum depression and it has sucked the life from me. 


I experienced bits of depression after having my other two boys, absolutely no depression after having my daughter, but within days of having my most recent baby the tears came and they didn't stop til I began medication 8 weeks postpartum. 


Not only did I cry but I simply lived in a half-catatonic state. I was able to walk, talk, and think at times, but at other times I could only manage to sit on the couch and rock my baby. The day I realized I hadn't fed my 3 year old, until she came and told me she was hungry {it was noon}, I knew something had to be done.


I also had a horrific fear of leaving my children some place, or forgetting them in the car, the house, or shopping center. It was even hard for me to keep up with my daughter in the front yard. I'd look up and she would have walked next door {not across the street} and would be playing. 


Life, in a nutshell, sucked. Seriously.


It has taken a little over 7 months to get my life back. A small piece of me is scared I will never be able to pick up the pieces that have shattered around me, but my doctor reassures me we will. Honestly, I'm just happy that today, right now, I feel connected again. If anyone reading this thinks they may be experiencing the same symptoms, please reach out to someone and get help. I have never felt anything so debilitating, it's simply still too hard to put it into words how this depression has effected my life. 


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